Like A Bee To The Honeycomb
by Lisejane
Summary: Derek & Meredith centred, with some Finn, Addison and the other interns thrown in for good measure!
1. Pancakes

This will develop into DerMer eventually, i'm a sucker for them. Plus this is my first fic, so please comment! Thanks.

**Disclaimer:** As much as I wish I did, I don't own Grey's Anatomy and it's characters.

* * *

_- Begins where 2.22 'Name Of The Game' left off –_

One – 'Pancakes'

The shrill sound of the alarm buzzing from the floor seeped into Meredith's dreams, taking hold of her thoughts and rousing her from the deep slumber she was in. She opened her eyes, thoughts of the night before racing through her head at top speed. "Damn alarm, where _are_ you?" she said to herself whilst trying hopelessly to locate the beeping machine. Eventually she found and silenced it, but not before dislodging the pair of knitting needles, resting precariously on her bedside table. _Lot of use they were. _Four twenty AM. The start of another long shift at the hospital. Meredith turned over and the smell of something delicious hit her. _Pancakes_, she thought, getting out from under the covers to follow the aroma. Reaching the door to the kitchen she found Izzie singing to herself while tossing pancakes in the frying pan. "Replacing sex with pancakes now?" asked Meredith, taking a seat at the table. "Let me know how that one works out."

"Okay, technically I do not need to be the celibate one in the room, I am doing this out of support for you Meredith, and also for the sake of my own sanity. I was not the one who broke George remember?" Izzie tossed the pan one more time. "But yes, as I have run out of wool, pancakes are now my preferred source of satisfaction," she replied now smothering her pancake with Nutella. "And besides, they taste good. You want some?"

"Yes. They do smell good, and since the knitting takes so freakin' long I could use a little satisfaction right now." Meredith sprinkled sugar over the fresh pancake and began to eat. "So Izzie, just for the record, how long are we supposed to keep up this whole 'lets be celibate' plan?"

"As long as it takes for you to realise that sex isn't always the answer. Friends, roommates… _McDreamy_." Izzie answered, knowing she'd gone a little too far from the look etched on her friend's face. But still, she needed to learn. "Why?"

"Oh, y'know, no reason, just curious." Meredith quickly replied, trying to hide the guilty feelings she felt were creeping over her face. Expressions were a killer for her. _What did she have to feel guilty about anyway? It wasn't like she'd done anything. Not yet anyway… _"C'mon Izzie, finish your satisfaction. Were gonna be late for pre-rounds."

Everyday was a busy one for the interns at hospital, but this one was especially so. The number of patients, along with the number of surgeries has somewhat increased and Meredith was run off her feet. Plus she needed to make time to go and visit Doc who was still at the vet's office. _Not that that's really a chore_, she thought to herself, while walking along one of the many corridors at Seattle Grace. The last time she had visited it wasn't only Doc who was feeling better, she was too. As she turned the corner, Cristina was walking towards her at some speed. "You've got the aneurysm surgery with Shepherd this morning right?" Cristina asked, walking alongside Meredith. "I would seriously kill for that!"

"Yeah," replied Meredith with a little sigh.

"Oh so enthusiastic Mer."

"Yeah, it'll be a good surgery…"

"So why aren't you psyched?" Cristina asked. "Still find it weird being cooped up in there for hours with Shepherd? Give you the heebies?"

"No," Meredith protested, "I mean, we're still friends, nothing's changed. I suppose I just haven't spoken to him lately." Meredith frowned to herself. This was in fact true, she hadn't seen much of Derek and when she did, he was usually with Addison, leaving no option for them to catch up properly. Doc was still at the vets so their morning walks had ceased too. Their paths didn't even seem to cross in the elevator anymore. _Things were definitely changing…_ Meredith thought sadly, even though she knew it was for the best. Besides, there was something about Doc's vet that gave her the butterflies. _It was nowhere near what Derek could do to her_, she mused, but it was a start right?

"Well, whatever you say Mer." Cristina said before she left Meredith in the company of her textbook and her own thoughts.


	2. Sunlight & Pagers

Two – Sunlight and Pagers 

Meredith was stealing a break. Well, technically she was, but a heavy textbook was still in her grasp and a steaming cup of coffee was held in her free hand. Taking refuge in the library, she figured she'd have at least half an hour to herself before she was due in surgery and this seemed the perfect time for her to do some research. Sitting on the floor with her back to the radiator for a little warmth, the soft sunlight illuminated the almost deserted room as she read, occasionally taking a sip of the strong, sweet coffee. "Hmm, landmarks for aneurysm clipping… Coronal suture… Zygoma… Orbital ridge…" Meredith read aloud, she knew this stuff already, but brushing up on things didn't hurt did it? She wanted to be prepared for the surgery with Derek, constantly yearning to prove herself, and get his attention. Although the latter was done subconsciously, and she could never shake off the habit.

"Y'know talking to yourself is usually the first sign of insanity." A familiar voice made Meredith jump up from her reading. She looked up to find Derek standing before her, leaning casually on one of the bookshelves with a smile on his face. "Hey."

"Hey. And you know very well life as an intern sent me to the brink of insanity long before now!" She joked. Her mind started racing for the second time in the day. _His eyes seem even bluer in that sunlight._ Derek moved from where he was standing and went to sit beside Meredith, back resting on the radiator just like hers. Their arms brushed and she felt that all to familiar electricity travel through their bodies. Meredith knew he could feel it too but as usual, they both just let it go. _It was just easier that way_. "So what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, knowing that Derek rarely visited the library.

"Well, when I couldn't find you anywhere, I thought I'd come and see if you were here. I was right."

"You were looking for me?"

"Yeah. We haven't spoken since… I can't remember when. I miss talking to you."

"Me too." Meredith placed the heavy textbook on the floor.

"So how's Doc? You saw him last night right? You like the vet that I got him? He's supposed to be one of the best, and we will only have the best for our dog y'know." Meredith looked away from Derek, trying to contain a rosy blush that was blooming on her cheeks. How she wished she hadn't discarded the textbook so early into the conversation. _Yes, she liked the vet Derek had chosen. Perhaps too much. _Then she felt the guilty feelings rising once again. _Look, _she thought to herself, _Derek's married, he may have loved you, but it wasn't like he'd said it, and you don't love him anymore anyway. _If she kept thinking that maybe it would come true.

"Our dog?" Meredith said the first intelligible thing that has popped into her head.

"Well he is both ours isn't he?"

"I guess so. He does actually live with you though."

"But Meredith, he loves you." Derek said, looking straight into Meredith's eyes. His words conveyed a deeper meaning and they both knew it. On cue Derek's pager suddenly started vibrating between Derek and Meredith's touching thighs. "Addison," he muttered. Meredith cringed when she heard him say her name, but this knocked her back to reality from the deep blue sea she was swimming in. "Mer, I'll see you in theatre."

"Yeah, seeya." Derek touched her thigh as he got up, sending a shiver right down her spine. As she watched him leave he library, she tried to make sense of the mixed feelings that were crusading around inside of her. These conversations with Derek left her feeling so elated, but simultaneously broken. _He is not good for me_, she thought, but what could she do? She was drawn to him like a bee to the honeycomb. _I'll feel better when I've seen the vet_, she thought forcefully; fully aware of how wrong that sounded in her head.


	3. Calls & Complications

Thank so much for the great reviews!

* * *

Three – 'Calls & Complications'

The remainder of Meredith's hide out in the library flew by and when she began to make her way to theatre it didn't seem like only a minute had passed since she was talking to Derek. Maybe this was because she had spent most of the time after he had left in a complete daydream, she wasn't sure, but she did know that the break certainly wasn't long enough for her liking. She braced herself when approaching the doors into the theatre, fully knowing that Derek would already be in there and she would fall into his charms like always. Not that she told her friends she did this. They all believe she was actually moving on, putting the whole thing behind her. _I am moving on_, she thought helplessly, _today is just one of those days, a relapse that's all. _She was quickly pulled out of her mental debate with the urgent vibrations of her phone that was clipped to the belt of her scrubs. _The vet's office? Doc… _"Hello?"

"Dr. Grey? This is Finn, Doc's vet." Meredith was suddenly very aware of her own voice as she lent on the wall of the corridor; her face was a picture of surprise.

"Oh, um, is everything okay with Doc?" Meredith asked, suddenly overcome with worry for her dog. _Why would the vet be calling her directly if something weren't seriously wrong?_

"Yes, don't sound so worried! He's absolutely fine, and missing you like crazy…" Meredith smiled to herself, she knew that Finn was smiling at the end of the line and she felt the butterflies returning just hearing his voice. "I was just ringing to let you know you can pick him up this afternoon."

"Oh, that's great," relief setting in on Meredith's face. "Well… I guess I'll see you later then."

"I look forward to it Meredith, bye."

"Bye." Meredith was still smiling to herself but then sighed. _Guess that means no more Finn too… _

There was no time to dwell though, neurosurgery beckoned and she'd be occupied for at least the next three hours. She was just about to enter the theatre when she heard the familiarity of Derek's voice from within. He sounded angry however, not like his usual self and she was instantly worried. "No Addison…" Meredith heard, and then it clicked, the Shepherds were having _another_ one of their heated discussions as Derek so frequently called them. _Discussions my ass_ thought Meredith. _There was no way they could be just that. Discussions didn't usually involve a slightly psychotic woman at the end of it._ She moved and leant against the other side of the corridor, there was no way she was going to walk into the scrub room with that atmosphere. _Talk about piggy in the middle!_ But she didn't have to wait long, as a flurry of red hair and Jimmy Choo heels rushed out of the room. _Was she crying?_ Meredith hadn't seen Addison in such a vulnerable state before and as much as she hated the fact that Derek had gone back to her, she didn't like seeing anyone like that. It was just ingrained in her character she guessed. Now the coast was clear and the atmosphere almost back to normal, she entered the scrub room. The sight she was met with was just as she had expected – Derek leaning over the double sink, looking thoroughly miserable. It was a look she'd been familiarised with over the past couple of months.

"Hey." Was all she could say to him.

"Hey." Derek nodded towards the theatre through the glass window. "Shall we do this?" Meredith began to wash her hands in the sink that Derek was leaning so helplessly on.

"Lets…"


	4. Surgery

Four – 'Surgery' 

The atmosphere was tense in the operating theatre. Despite a few complications, which had the staff on edge, things were gradually returning to normality. During the course of the surgery Meredith had noticed Derek's mood changing thankfully back to his normal self and she'd even noticed the makings of a smile forming on his face at one point. She looked over at him once again and smiled herself. _I love that look of concentration he has_. Derek moved his eyes away from the microscope, as if he was reading Meredith's thoughts and looked into her eyes. They frequently shared moments like this in theatre; it was one of the few places in the hospital where they could really look at each other without their actions getting questioned by anyone and everyone. "Dr. Grey, come and see this." Derek said, beckoning to Meredith from across the table. Meredith moved slowly up to the microscope, something that Derek had her do often when they were in theatre together. It reminded her of that very first surgery they did on the first day of her internship. _Why couldn't we go back to that? _She thought as she peered into the small lens. The clips were perfectly in place. She looked up at Derek once again and smiled; grateful for the opportunity he had given her. "Alright everybody, I'm almost done. Time to close her up."

Meredith was in the scrub room cleaning up after the surgery had finished. It was a success eventually and she was experiencing the same elation that she always did when surgeries went the way they were supposed to. _And I was only observing_ she thought, looking over at the door to see Derek emerging from the theatre. He was obviously a different man to the one who entered the theatre five hours ago, his whistling being a give-away. "Good surgery," she commented, now drying her wet hands.

"Yeah, turned out okay in the end. Thought we were going to run into some problems with that bleeder though."

"Tell me about it." Meredith looked into the theatre that was being cleaned up; this was not a time she wanted to make eye contact with Derek. "So Doc's vet rang, he's good to go home today."

"Mer, that's fantastic, I'll go pick him up when I'm done here."

"Oh…" Meredith's face fell. This wasn't what she was expecting.

"You okay Meredith?" Derek's face was now full of concern.

"Yeah, it's just, well… I thought I could pick him up?"

"I thought you only saw him yesterday?" Derek grinned at her. "You miss him already?"

"Honestly, yes." _Okay, I'm so not lying. I do miss Doc. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm secretly looking forward to seeing Finn one last time… _

"Well, sure. You know I could never deny you anything Meredith." Derek looked at her, his face serious with a hint of a grin. _Yeah, apart from your love that is, _she thought, suddenly becoming a little bitter. _There he goes, being all dreamy again… _

"Thanks Derek. I'll drop him off later." Meredith's almost through the scrub room door when she feels a hand on her arm, making her stop and look back. They were face to face now, eyes meeting in the middle, emotions racing.

"Thanks for your help in theatre today Mer. You were great," Derek said with a warm smile. There was the recognition that Meredith is always striving for. _Signed, sealed, delivered._ Meredith managed to return a smile before walking away down the corridor, her heart melting in the process.


	5. Liar

Five – 'Liar' 

"You know I could never deny you anything." Meredith was sitting at a table on the outskirts of the busy cafeteria. Cristina was sitting by her side, dissecting a cheeseburger as they discussed Meredith and Derek's previous conversation. "He actually said that Cristina."

"He's a jackass. He's extraordinarily talented and everything, but still a total jackass." She pressed down the burger bun firmly. "_Why _do they insist on putting pickles on _my_ burger?"

"I know he's a jackass. But why do I keep falling for it?"

"I don't know Mer, maybe you're a jackass too." Cristina laughed. Meredith knew she didn't really mean that, but the border between Cristina being funny and Cristina being cutting was particularly thin. "And anyway, I thought things were cooking up between you and your hunky McVet?" Meredith cringed the very moment that little gem had dropped from her friends mouth. She somehow wished that she'd never had told Cristina about Finn, but at the time, she was venting about Derek, _Surprise_, and it had just slipped out.

"Cristina, all I said was that he was very, er, attractive." Meredith felt a little blush erupting again on her cheeks. _I mean, he was… _

"Aha! Gotcha!" A triumphant look resided on Cristina's face. She'd found the stray pickle hiding in a lettuce cocoon. Meredith gave her a baffled expression. _Was she even listening?_ "Sorry, Mer, you were saying he's attractive?"

"Yes. But that does not change the fact that Derek's an ass, and, well, what I'm trying to say is…" Meredith was almost lost for words.

"Oh, come on Mer, spit it out already, this supportive time has it's limits!"

"I think I'm still in love with Derek." Meredith whispered, while trying to hide behind her hands.

"What? I didn't quite catch that one."

"I _think_ I'm still in _love_ with Derek." Meredith hissed for the second time, louder than the first.

"Oh. Oooooh. So that's not good." _You don't say Cristina! _"Y'know, maybe Izzie would be better at this sort of thing that me? You know what I'm like…"

"No Cristina," Meredith insisted, "You cannot tell Izzie. I don't need her going all Miss High And Mighty on me once again, I can't take it! The whole George situation was bad enough." She sighed, trying to find the words. "I think I'm just gonna have to repress it all."

"Repress it? Hmm, that's a good plan, that's what I'm do." _I was afraid of that._

"Yeah, consider it repressed. I'm seeing the _vet_ today anyway, so Derek is going to be completely out of my mind. Absolutely. Gone. Poof." Meredith surprised herself with how forceful she felt.

"Y'know Mer, you have _way_ too many problems. You're like a huge problem attractor and they don't seem to go away. You bring spice to my life!"

"Gee, glad I could be of service." Meredith noticed Izzie approaching their table with a tray in her grasp. "Look, Izzie's coming, _not a word."_

"Hey guys!" Izzie said cheerfully, placing her tray down on the table. "Whatcha talking about?"

"Nothing!"

"Nothing!" Meredith and Cristina quickly said simultaneously.

_Oh, I am such a big, fat, liar…_


	6. New York, New York

Six – 'New York, New York' 

Addison Shepherd sat alone in her office. Absentmindedly, she stared out of the window, taking in the vast Seattle skyline at dusk. The sun was setting illuminating the ferryboats and making them look mysteriously appealing to her. She didn't get her husband's obsession with those things. Sure, they were okay to travel by, but a thing of beauty? _I think not. _Twirling a strand of dark red hair around her perfectly manicured fingernail she sighed. She'd lost track of time a while ago but she didn't really mind. At this point she'd rather be sitting in her office daydreaming then be cooped up in that tiny trailer where you couldn't move without falling over a Manolo or nearly poking your eye out on a fishing rod. Addison's eyes once again roamed over the spectacular view and rested on the Space Needle. _It's good, but it's not New York, _she thought, her mind flipping back to a time long ago when her and Derek were there, and happy. Suddenly she felt a presence in the room and she knew it was Derek before she could see him. "Addison," he said, taking a step towards her. She still didn't turn around, knowing that the moment she did they'd probably relapse another argument and they'd had one to many that day already. "Addison," Derek repeated, now standing right behind her, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders.

"It's not New York Derek." She sighed, swivelling around in her chair. They were now face to face and had been in each other's company for almost five minutes without fighting. _What a record!_

"You miss it there don't you Addie?"

"Yeah Derek, I do. But I don't just miss New York. I miss us. You and me. _Our_ marriage. _Our_ life. " She looked him in the eyes. "Do you remember a time there, before Mark and Meredith, when we were actually happy?" She was taking a risk here asking him this, but she had to know.

"Honestly…" Derek paused. "Of course I do. There were some amazing times and I can remember them like they were yesterday. The memories, the songs, the photographs. Dancing to Bon Jovi in the rain. Ice skating at the Rockefeller Centre at Christmastime. Kissing in Times Square at New Year." He smiled at all the memories that came flooding back to him. He looked over to Addison who was also smiling. He knew that she was thinking the exact same thing as he was…

"That night in that seedy cocktail bar on Staten Island because we missed the last ferry!" They both said simultaneously, cracking into smiles.

"I miss that Derek."

"I know. I do too." He sat down on the desk beside her.

"How did we get from there to here?" She asked, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. _Get a grip Addison. _

"I think…" Derek didn't know how to answer that. _How did we get from there to here? Mark was definitely the icebreaker, but not everything. _"I think, it just happened. We aren't in that place anymore. That place where there's roses and champagne everyday. I thought we could go back, but…"

"It's there with Meredith." _I can still finish his sentences though_, Addison thought.

"Roses, champagne… _fireworks_, the whole thing."

"I think I get it Derek." Addison said, suddenly bitter at the thought of her _husband_ with another woman, regardless of who it was. _Guess that's how he felt about Mark_, she mused. "So I guess this is it then?"

"I guess so." Derek lingered in the room. It seemed so final, yet so right. The silence between them was comforting, but Derek had to break it. It was now or never. He got up, kissed Addison on the forehead and left the room just as silently as he had entered.

_At least I still have New York_, Addison thought as she pulled the divorce papers towards her. _At least I still have New York… _


	7. Nervous Giggles

Seven – 'Nervous Giggles' 

Meredith pulled the car into a space on the parking lot, as close to the door to the vets as she could get it. _It had been a long day_, she thought, wishing that she could be curled up in bed with a cup of cocoa. _Well, maybe not cocoa, _her mind springing back to Addison and the whole 'juju' episode. She got out of the car, and found herself smoothing her hair before she walked through the door. _Did she look okay?_ She hadn't left the hospital for the past 12 hours and hadn't even given her appearance a thought until now. After deciding her hair was fully smoothed, Meredith opened the door to the vet's surgery, and she was met with the shriek of a cat being held slightly too tightly by it's owner. A little nervous, Meredith jumped out of her skin at the sound. _Gee what an entrance_, she thought as she took a seat in the waiting room, smiling at the receptionist who had given her some knitting advice the previous day. She thought back to where them needles were now – strewn across her bedroom floor. _A sign? _No, she didn't believe in them. Looking around the room at the various posters for animal vaccinations, she felt the small family of butterflies that seem to have resided in her stomach return home. _This was bad_, she thought. She looked across the room to where a door had opened, and Finn popped his head out, signalling to the receptionist that he was ready for the next patient. His eyes found Meredith's and he smiled broadly. She found herself smiling too; _he's certainly got that earthy quality to him,_ she thought, looking at him from head to toe. Again, she liked what she saw. "Hey Meredith," she heard him say, still standing by the door to his office. "You're last on my list, won't be long."

"M'kay…" was all she managed before he shot back into his room.

Meredith was the only person left sitting in the waiting room now, apart from the friendly receptionist who was typing away at her desk. "No needles today?" she said with a smile, snapping Meredith out of her own thoughts.

"Not today, no," replied Meredith. "Think I'm going to try baking now," she said with a giggle thinking back to her last attempt in the kitchen. _Kinda makes knitting look easy! _After a few more minutes of perusing the walls of the waiting room, the owner of the very vocal cat came out of the examination room, closely followed by Finn.

"Okay Mrs Patterson, I'll see you in three days…" Finn said as he opened the door for the elderly woman. He then walked over to Meredith, already grinning. "So I have someone who's been waiting for you all day in my office."

"Well you better get me in there then!" Meredith followed Finn into the room and found Doc already in there, sitting down, tail going ten to the dozen. Doc went crazy at the sight of Meredith, immediately running towards her, crashing into her legs. She knelt down to Doc's level and he continued to greet her as if he hadn't seen her for years. "Hey boy, you're looking better!"

"Y'know, you've certainly got a loyal dog there. He followed me around all day when I said you were coming in this afternoon."

"Really?" Meredith continues to address Doc directly. "Were you annoying the vet all day Doc?" Meredith could help but giggle when Doc licked her right on the nose.

"Oh he was far from annoying Meredith, he kept reminding me it was you coming to pick him up and not your boyfriend." She looked up at Finn. _Is he flirting with me?_

"Oh, he's not my boyfriend," Meredith quickly said, "he's just co-owner. Y'see he has all this land, and well, I don't."

"Oh. That's fantastic! Er, the land I mean, for Doc"

Meredith got up and looked at Finn who was once again smiling at her. _Did he ever stop grinning? _ "So um, thanks for all you've done for Doc," she said. She didn't want to leave Finn so soon, but there was nothing else to say.

"My pleasure Meredith, he's a great dog." A wave of awkwardness swept over Meredith, she hated situations like this. It seemed the only thing left to do was leave the room, and so that is what she did. Taking Doc's leash in her hands, she led him towards the door.

"I guess I'll see you around Finn," she said to him, who was now opening the door for Meredith.

"Yeah." Finn stopped. "Meredith…"

"Yeah?" She spun around, hoping Finn needed to get something else for Doc, anything to stay in his company a little longer. He paused, and there was a twinkle in his eye.

"I, um, was wondering, are you free tonight? Maybe we could get something to eat, celebrate Doc's good health?" Meredith had wished he would say something like this, but still was a little surprised when she heard him say it out loud.

"Y'know, that sounds great. An' to be honest, I thought you were never going to ask!" She said, giving him a little wink. By now Doc was pulling hard on the leash, obviously wanting to get out into the fresh air and Meredith was forced to break moment. He was now dragging her to the door, and all Meredith could do was smile and let him.

"I'll pick you up later, say 9 o'clock," Finn yelled as Meredith was nearly out of the door.

"Sounds great!" was all he got back. Doc was already halfway to Meredith's car. Jumping in the back seat, he seemed at home Meredith thought. "That wasn't bad for a day's work was it boy?" Doc replied with a soft woof. _Not bad at all…_


	8. Corners

Eight – 'Corners' 

Meredith was driving to Derek's trailer. The closer she got, the more frequently Doc looked at her and wagged his tail. _At least someone's looking forward to seeing Derek, _she thought. She wished and wished that she could shake off this guilty feeling she had inside her for agreeing to dinner with Finn. _It's only a dinner right?_ But she just couldn't, and the guilt was growing stronger the closer she got to Derek. _So what? _She thought, _Derek has no right to be hurt by this. I'm the one he hurt in the first place by being very McMarried. _As the trailer came into her view, Meredith noticed Addison's car moving towards hers. She appeared to be driving at an alarming speed, with a stony look embedded on her face but Meredith didn't have much time to analyse this as her eyes flicked to Derek standing outside the trailer. Her heart leapt when he gave her a small smile as she pulled up. _Stop doing that…_ she tried to will her heart, but it seemed to ignore her with every beat growing faster than the last. She let out a deep breath before opening the door to the car, letting Doc run across to greet Derek. "Looks like he missed you," she shouted across to Derek, who was now on the floor, tickling Doc's belly. Smiling, she walked over to them. _What a great picture,_ she thought, suddenly believing this would be what her life was life if Addison wasn't in the picture. _But she is… with her killer heels and designer hats and her juju. _

"Yeah. I missed him too. I guess you don't realise how much something means to you until it goes away," he said meaningfully, looking up at Meredith.

"Do you…"

"I have…" Meredith and Derek both start talking at the same time, but stop abruptly, suddenly making the atmosphere between them very awkward. _It's never been like this before, _mused Meredith, feeling the cool wind sweep her hair behind her. "You go," she indicated to Derek, giving a nervous smile. _Why does he still get me like this?_

"Well I was just wondering if you're free for a walk?" He said, nodding down towards Doc, whose ears pricked at the sound of his favourite word.

"Now?" Meredith's mind raced to her dinner with Finn. She'd have to get a move on if she was going to have time to shower before he picked her up.

"Yeah. We've been neglecting our morning walks ever since Doc got sick. And I miss them. We need to catch up Meredith, there's something I need to tell you." He took a step closer to her.

"You know I miss them too Derek. It's just…" She stopped. _It's now or never. _"Well, the thing is, I need to get home to, um. Get ready. I'm having dinner with Finn tonight." She blurted out, avoiding his eyes as she said it.

"Finn?" Derek's face looked puzzled. But then he got it, and a sad expression replaced the puzzled one. "As in Doc's vet Finn?"

"Yeah… so I have to go Derek." Meredith saw the look that now resided on Derek's face. _He looks so sad… he needs to get over that. He has a wife remember! Not. Your. Problem. _Awkwardness fell once again over the pair, and Meredith knew it was time to leave. "But if you still want to talk, I'll be walking tomorrow. Maybe I'll see you up there?" She hoped that this was the case. After all, they _were_ friends.

"Sure Mer. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Derek said, turning back towards the trailer. Doc was following him through the door when he turned around and gave Meredith a woof.

"Yeah… tomorrow. Bye Doc," she called out, but they were both already through the door. There wasn't anything else for Meredith to do but walk back to her car and look forward to her dinner date with Finn. She was determined to enjoy herself that night, but on the drive back, she couldn't get Derek out of her mind. _He looked so sad… _she thought, recalling the look Derek had on his face when she'd told him about the dinner. _And he was going to tell me something… _she was curious and somehow wished she could have stayed longer, but the evening beckoned and she couldn't change the past. As she turned onto the freeway she made a decision. Derek was her past, and for all she knew, Finn could be her future and she wasn't going to mess anything up this time. _Not that I really did the messing up last time. _She knew that she had to give Finn a shot, despite her feelings for Derek. She needed to turn a corner. And this is exactly what she was going to do.


End file.
